Today the scale read 220. Three pounds is great, yes, but I know that number should have been lower and would have been had I not fudged the day before my weigh-in.

I was doing very well all week. As usual, I ate out a couple times, but I even stooped to ordering off the demeaning “Weight Management” Menu at The Cheesecake Factory. Of course, I did enjoy some cheesecake too, as I had never been there before, but I only had a half a piece, and unsweet tea for the drink. BUT, when it came to a good deal, I took a chance.

Monday night, I took my friend Staci out to Chili’s for her birthday and since they were having a good deal where you can get an appetizer, 2 entrees and a dessert for $20 we sprung for that. I could see there were no real safe bets on this menu but I went with a Quesadilla Salad hoping that the leafy goodness (and the fact that prior to this dinner I had only had a granola bar at 140 calories) would save me.

In hindsight, this was bad as the appetizer of chips and queso had 900 something calories (approx 450 for my half) and the salad was 1300 calories! The dessert was another 1200! So, I can see exactly why that last day prevented me from clearing this 220 lb hurdle I have been facing for so long. (Technically, the scale said 220.8 but I prefer to think of it as just 220 )

The past couple days I have also had a cold coming on, and while I exercised yesterday, today I was just feeling totaled so I didn’t exercise. I really would have liked to just to get some momentum going again after that catastrophe. But atleast today was a good day for eating so that much will help.

I am really stressed because it is the end of the semester and I have a lot to do but I need to make sure that my diet remains a priority. I just have to keep this new mentality about food and my relationship with it, and keep exercising. I can’t wait to see what happens if I keep it up

This morning the scale read 223. Not bad. I lost 2 pounds since last week. I would have loved to hit 220 but we would all love to lose weight faster.

I ate out a lot this past week, but I ate sensibly. Mostly water for my drinks at dinner and I chose the most sensible thing that I could. Yet, I did not sacrifice my lifestyle. I enjoy going out to dinner with friends (or lunch) and one of my friends had a birthday party this past weekend and I enjoyed myself there. I admit, this is one day where I know with 100% certainty that my calories were well beyond my limit, but I just decided to pick it up the next day.

I exercised only 3 times, I think. My memory is fuzzy about that. It was atleast 3, possibly 4…. but probably 3. Between all these factors, I know exactly why I lost less weight. But that’s fine because I am still moving along and I know I am going to succeed. I am not discouraged at all. I am very excited to lose this weight.

I ran outside for the first time yesterday, and it was  SOOOO much harder than the treadmill. I ran with Eric, actually. We got through a mile without stopping and then did intervals of walking and running for the rest of the time.

That’s my update! I will let you know what happens this next week!

Week one was pretty good. I actually controlled myself at work. I brought my own meals to eat and avoided the fresh-baked allure of chocolate chip cookies. I worked out 5 days this week which was also good. The scale said 225 on Tuesday which was exactly a week from when I started so I lost 5 or 6 pounds, which I am happy with. Let’s all keep on it this time. I know we can do it

I have been doing poorly for so long that I didn’t even want to write about it on here. I have been eating crappy foods and not keeping up my exercising regimen. I am up to 230 unfortunately and that is far from my goal. On a positive note, through my intermittent exercise running on the readmill I have been able to accomplish a run of 4 miles without break which is awesome, even though I have no weight loss to show for this imrovement.

My goal is still the same for now… get under 200 lbs before 2010. Today is day one again.

So, this was supposed to be the week – it wasn’t.

Steve and I decided to go on a break from our relationship and I spent half the week crying on and off and/or being sad. One day I ate hardly anything other days I ate whatever I pleased (it took a lot to please me). No exercise. Go me.

I hate it because I wrote last week that I was going to be under 220 this week. There was one day when I weighed myself in the morning and weighed exactly 220 and then every subsequent day I ate poorly so I know that weight has gone up.

I really want to exercise again, but I have been so lazy and undisciplined – exactly the opposite of what I had just preached about.

I don’t know if I will report a weight tomorrow. I am sure there is little or no change from last week and if there is a change I may have gained a pound. There is nothing to say, but I will try again next week.

I guess these are the crossroads of dieting. I am at 222 lbs this week. My weight has fluctuated within a few pounds, but my body fat % has gone up so I know that I am losing some ground.

I have, for the past few complacent weeks, been eating garbage often, drinking sugary soda multiple times daily, and getting no exercise aside from the exercise I get from working.

Things are going to change.

I know that I can do lose more weight. School starts in 3.5 weeks exactly. Wouldn’t I love to get under 200lbs in the next 26 days before school starts. This, I know, is not realistic though. I don’t want to set myself up for failure.

My next goal is 210 by August 24th (first day of class). It’s time for me to take the next step toward my dreams. Next week I will report to you that I am under 220.

It may have been a whole month (probably is) since I have lost any more weight. My home scale has stayed at pretty much the same number, but I weighed myself at the gym and it was considerably higher. I know that I was heavier than usual because I had just put down a bunch of water and a bowl of cereal and normally I don’t have any breakfast, plus at home I don’t weigh with shoes on, but still the number 233 was disappointing to see I’m not going to let it get to me because respective to my home scale I have gone from 239 to (this week) 224.

So this week I really need to make some changes. A person starts to internalize this idea that the weight will eventually just start falling off again, but I forgot that I used to eat light when eating out and limit myself to 2 drinks at work and 1600 calories, not to mention those whole 2 days I used to work out. Lately, I have just been “going with the flow” or…. eating and doing (or not doing) whatever I want.

Obviously, this has gotten me nowhere (did I also mention that I went to a buffet this weekend? A buffet where I literally ate as much as my stomach could physically hold!) What needs to be done I can not merely type about, but must do. Plain and simple.

Sigh… 224 is my weight – no change. Could be better, could be worse as they say. I’m not going to complain; I’m just going to make it happen this week. Sorry to hear the bad news on everyone else’s end. I think I am getting sick too. I keep sniffling and sneezing. Hopefully it’s just allergies.

Good news – Only one more week of summer classes and this miserable 8am summer class will be out of my life! Also I’m looking forward to spending time with my brother and his friend Jim and Allison and if all goes as planned, they will get to meet my boyfriend over dinner. Yay for boyfriends and food lol. Oh yeah, I’m supposed to be revved up for dieting lol. Don’t worry, I’ll get it together…

I’m back. I know, I didn’t even post my birthday weight. It wasn’t that great. My last week before my birthday I gained 3 pounds, going to 226. This past week I lost 2 pounds, going down to 224, although I think this may be attributed to my being low on water that day.

I like Audra’s posted excerpt. There certainly is a lot to be said for the power of discipline. I think it is hard to be disciplined since it is attached to this uncomfortable, cold, prickly feeling of being tired and not having fun – at least that is my take on it. In the back of my mind, when I think of discipline, this is the feeling it gives me. I know I should not associate it so negatively, and my attitude about it is probably working against me.

I have to be at work in an hour, which I am not really looking forward to (who does look forward to work?). I get 40 hours a week + at the bowling alley where I work in the snack bar, which is good for money, but they are very short on help, so you get stuck working long hours, by yourself in the snack bar sometimes, and this week I was scheduled for 6 days, where I would obviously like like to have 2 days off in a week rather than 1. It’s bad enough that when I do get 2 days off in a week they are never together.

That is not really diet-related, but I am feeling really tired and the idea of being disciplined and working out like I should makes me even more tired. I don’t know how people do so much, because I am sure that what I do doens’t even come close to the amount that others do.

While, honestly I am feeling less than optimistic this week I know that I have to get back on the wagon, otherwise I am just going to gain back all the weight that I lost and never even reach my goal of 220, let alone lose more weight than that and get down into the 100’s.

The first half of the week has not been as great as I planned. One night after work, I was very hungry and had not eaten all day, then proceeded to scarf down a large meal and go to sleep. Then the next day, I had mexican leftovers, and soda has been involved… lol let’s just say it’s been a party.

I know that I gained a pound or two but I am hoping I can pull out some magic by eating nearly perfectly today, Monday and Tuesday and working out Tuesday and Wednesday morning.

Also, the next three days are going to be INSANE. I will be tired AS HELL!!!!! (like how I emphasize “as hell” lol).

Monday:

8AM – class

11AM – meeting w/ Arabic professor from Spring

12PM-6PM – work @ bowling alley

8PM-1AM – work @alley (yeah, a split shift – lame)

TUESDAY

10AM-5PM work @alley

WEDNESDAY = BDAY!!!!!

so yeah, I guess I got to have my bday off at work, but I am making up those hours for sure!

Busy, busy… anyway I’ll update later.