Eric’s Dream

..catching up on lost time..

Aberdeen, S.D. will always be home to me.  It may not be where I want to spend most of my time, but it will forever be home in my heart. I was born and raised here with the exception of about five years, and all my known family -other than my mother and sister- live here as well.  When I planned this trip, I allowed myself between three and five days to see everyone and get caught up. I was way off!  I think I could stay here for six months and not be ready to leave.

The funny thing about family is that no matter how long you may go without seeing them, they are still family.  A lot has changed in the eight years since I saw them last, but one thing that hasn’t changed is the instant feeling of acceptance and love that consumes me when I’m surrounded by them.

I know my decision to quit my job, spend my savings, and travel the country is open to criticism by so many people and I expected my family to be the most critical since they would be more concerned with the outcome of my life than most people.  I believe that they were extremely skeptical at first, but their skepticism has turned to support.

I didn’t think that I cared whether people approved of my trip or not, but the support from all who have e-mailed me, and now my family, has shown me that it means a lot to have that acceptance.

This past week has been filled with trips down memory lane fenced by the boundaries of time. I have found it difficult to physically see everything and everyone I left behind eight years ago progress to the age and time where they are now.  At times, I question whether I’m beginning the mental decline into the depths of insanity.  Although word of mouth has made me fully aware of the changes that have taken place over the last 8 years, it’s all so surreal to see time jump this much in person.  I will pull through this, but in the meantime…it’s all strange and indescribable. Before I began this trip, I thought I fully understood the concept of “time moving too fast” and “life is too short.”  I had no idea.  Maybe it’s my age? Maybe this wouldn’t be as traumatic if the 10 years would have fallen during a different stage of my life? Maybe if my life progressed differently, it wouldn’t be so shocking either? I don’t know….Who knows?….I’ll probably never know….

I’m not sure what to share with all of you about this part of the trip.  Aberdeen, S.D. doesn’t fill a big spot on the map and it is not filled with magical landscaping.  It is a town that was developed as a place for farmers to congregate and trains to stop as they pass through.  It is centered on a prairie with land around it as flat as the ocean’s horizon and trees are intertwined on every block within the town.  It is also a town that struggles to change while remaining true to its past.

When I was young, I couldn’t stand it here.  My favorite bands usually didn’t stop within a four hour drive of here and the closest pro sports franchise is a day away by car. If you want to travel, a plane ticket out of here would set you back a small fortune. The winters are filled with chilling, razor-blade winds that will slice through your skin to the bone in two breaths.  The funny thing about everything that chased me away in the past, none it seems to seems to matter anymore.  Proximity to family and friends have taken -at least temporarily- precedence over everything else.

It is my past coming back and embracing me that makes me feel a little more secure about my future.

While I didn’t think I cared whether my family supported this trip, I now find their support actually makes me feel more sure of myself. I no that no matter what happens, good or bad, it won’t change the fact that these same people will be there for me….and that’s a pretty damn good feeling.

Now that I’m done with the “touchy” stuff.  I have to elaborate a little more on the town in which I was raised and have returned.  Not much changed in the twenty years that I lived here as a youth, but somehow it has seems to have found a bit of a renaissance during the past eight years that I have been gone

The high school that I attended was in place for close to 100 years….the junior high was about the same.   Somehow, someway, they have both been abandoned during the time I was gone.   The high school is now a brand new facility on the outskirts of town and the junior high is a brand new building in the place of where the old one stood.  The town’s swimming pools that were in place long before I was around -and seemed as if they’d remain unchanged for generations to come- have transformed into a “brand new water park.”  The tennis courts -where I can remember as a young child of about five years old chasing the balls of the errant hits from my mother and aunt- are now gone too.  They have also given way to this new water park.

My favorite taco shop where I used to sit on the second floor with friends chatting and watching traffic flow has been destroyed and transformed into an empty lot.  They say the only thing that is constant is change, but I have also heard that things don’t change, people do. Has yesterday’s youth become today’s artisans of the this revitalized town, thus bringing in change that is more inline with my own way of thinking?

Whatever the reason for this towns decision to abandon much of the old in favor of the new, it has for sure changed. Whether it’s the people that changed or the times that have changed, it is not the town I left behind ten years ago.

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